You said there would be Cake at this wedding, but I haven’t even HEARD “Short Skirt Long Jacket.”

((Me looking at the ten bags of makeup the makeup lady has)) “Yeah, I have all that too.”

“Dad, will you be getting your makeup done, too?”

—

((Doing the Love Train)) “People all over the world, join in! Start a love train!”

“I hate Train. Hell with Hey Soul Sister.”

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